Gone are the name-tags, shouting and over-the-top party trimmings.Meeting your special someone shouldn't be anything but a comfortable and relaxed experience.Be warned however, when it comes to getting it right, there’s a lot that can go wrong. To her – do you think that wheelie bin is big enough to hold a human body. Do suggest a venue and pick up the tab Your date spends her life supporting others, picking things up, running around, making arrangements, organising lives, lunch boxes and how the hell she’s going to pay this month’s nursery bills on top of the mortgage. Do not talk about children Single mums do not want to talk about the pros and cons of Montessori schools, the benefits of breastfeeding or whether it’s worth moving to the home counties for the higher standards of state schools. Don’t flatter yourself Think your date is really into you and you’ve got her eating out of the palm of your hand? She’s child free with a glass of wine in her hand and a pair of heels on – you could have three heads and the IQ of a pigeon and this would still be the *best date ever*! A single mum, newly back on the dating scene, is unlikely to have had time to look in the mirror in the last eight months let alone do her bikini line, you’d be wise to give your date a bit of prep-time before the big event. Do not be late Being late for your date, not only means that she will have to spend paid time chatting about the weather to an 18-year-old babysitter – but that you are likely to spend the first half of your evening trying to figure out how it is humanly possible for a woman to clench her jaw so tightly without her teeth disintegrating. Or cancel At your absolute peril cancel a date with a single mum.Go to the venue at the published start time for the event.There is no official start time to the speed dating portion of the evening - we like to wait for all daters to arrive, to have a moment to settle in with a refreshment and mingle should they wish.Having trouble understanding what constitutes being a decent human? Not only do they have life experience to bring to the table but boy, do they know how to make the most of an evening. Body-glossing, outfit-finding, baby-sitter ordering , instructions leaving. To you – no big deal, we’ll just reschedule another time!
If we meet a dater we don't think you'll fancy meeting, we'll say 'No thank you' so you don't have to.
Needless to say, my dalliance with dating this time around has been a little different.
I don’t think I can necessarily blame all this on the demise of dating apps. But something I’ve noticed since I’ve become single is how disposable people seem to think others are. The plethora of flirting opportunities on social media platforms is aplenty, and it seems to create this detached idea of the person you’re talking to.
Every time someone would complain about being single I’d reply – probably quite smugly – that they need to get on Tinder.
And every time I was met with an eye roll and a diatribe about how ‘awful’ they were and how many ‘weirdos’ were on there. But in reality I’d had a pretty drama-free overall experience with dating apps. My experience with dating generally involved a couple of weeks of messages, then a series of successful dates which naturally turned into relationships.